i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize