you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
