At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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