I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
