This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
