Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize