it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
