Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's blow job season.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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