dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just gargled with NyQuil
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
