I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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