I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
