how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize