His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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