well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
