Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize