New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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