his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
