You just made me feel so damn special
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize