Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
