New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
