And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Houston, we have a blender
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
