Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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