I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
