We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
