I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she told me i tasted like america
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
