just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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