Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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