I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
