True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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