He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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