She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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