i can't believe i had my finger in that
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
