McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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