im drinking this country out of the recession.
home. puking in laundry basket.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
