I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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