i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got inside last night via doggy door
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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