you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
