Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize