I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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