will power is for people who don't want to get laid
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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