Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
