Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
