I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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