I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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