Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
