So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
