just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am midnight drunk by noon
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
