They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
