I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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