we made out on top of his cat.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize