I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
