Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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