I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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