youre lurking in front of me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
