Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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