if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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