remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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