he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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