it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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