I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
