I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
