Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
