i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
