If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
