Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
babies were throwing up all over the place
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
