I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
